It is recommended that you tell people that you trust about your paruresis. It means that they may be able to help you in social situations – perhaps covering for when you take a long time in the bathroom, or will be more willing to go to a particular pub or restaurant where you feel more comfortable. It also usually comes as a relief for sufferers when they tell someone. It normally isn’t easy, but most people will tell you that it was worth it.

It is better to lead them in gently than drop the issue on them. You might want to start with something such as:
“I have a phobia which is really messing my life up. It is an illogical fear. So far, I’ve been too embarrassed to tell anyone. I have a social phobia rather like stage fright – like when you are unable to speak when other people around. For me, when people are around, I lose the ability to pee. I want to go but I’m unable to. It often makes my life a misery. It is a recognised condition called ‘paruresis’ and lots of people have it, but it’s not something which many people talk about.”

This dialogue will lead them gently into the problem and give them something they may be able to relate to before you tell them the problem outright. It also lets them know that paruresis is a real condition which is recognised by organisations such as the NHS. They may even offer you to try and help you get over the condition.

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